Wills and Guardenships
by Serendipity73
Summary: Janets Pov for chapters 1 and 2. SJ in future chapters. character death, Daniel Agnst, Jack and Sam agnst.
1. Default Chapter

Title: Wills and Guardianships Author: Serendipity Rating: PG-13 – R(I don't know how its going to get in future parts) Summary: Part 1 Janet's POV Dedication: To Kathy Author's Notes: I don't own them, never will. Some of this either happened or didn't, but its fic, I can manipulate it into anything I want, right? Have fun and Enjoy. Oh and this is unbetaed, all mistakes are mine. Posting: I don't mind what archive it goes too, anyone can have it, just let me know where it is going.  
  
You know as I sit here, looking over my paperwork. An odd sense of melancholy washes over me. It's a Thursday night, I am home alone, looking over the papers in my lock box. Sitting at the dining room table with a glass of wine, soft music playing in the background, I am reading over my will and power of attorney.  
  
Gloomy thought huh?  
  
I remember the other day the JAG attorneys came to the academy hospital looking for their yearly updates on power of attorneys and any changes on wills that needed to be done.  
  
I wanted to make a few changes, I needed to.  
  
Sam and I have grown closer over the years, and originally I had her down as the primary in my living will. But I realized that I don't think she could make that decision to take me off life support if those were my wishes.  
  
She has lost so many people, granted some of them came back to her, but I honestly don't think she could pull the plug so to speak.  
  
There are a lot of underlying demons that are plaguing her right now, not that she would really admit to them. But I can see them, see how losing Daniel, and the Colonel effected her.  
  
I know Sam, she puts on a good front, we all do it, but she is the queen of the fronts.  
  
Which lead to my conservation with Colonel O'Neill that afternoon over lunch at the academy hospital cafeteria. I think he was a little thrown off guard when I called earlier that morning and asked if he could meet me.  
  
Oh well, it will show him for throwing me off guard every once and a while. Right?  
  
Anyway I tell him to meet me in the cafeteria at noon. Surprisingly he is on time. Sam is always talking about his lack of timing.  
  
I wasn't paying attention to those around me when I looked up and heard the casual 'Doc, what's up?' From the Colonel as he sat down at the table with me.  
  
"So what's up Doc?" he says as he pays with the napkin in front of him.  
  
"Colonel, I...I needed your help with something." Why am I nervous?  
  
"So, what is it?"  
  
"My will, Sir."  
  
"Doc...I thought Carter...you had Carter to take care of everything?"  
  
"Umm...well, I do, but I am not sure if she could handle some of my requests, if need be."  
  
"Doc, Carter, she can handle anything."  
  
"I am not to sure about that Sir."  
  
We just sit there in silence for a while.  
  
"Sir, what I am asking that is, can I list you in my living will, just in case something happens. I don't think Sam could handle losing another friend, I don't think she would be able to carry out my wishes, even knowing that it's what I would want."  
  
He just nods and looks up at me, "What about Cassie, and the other stuff?"  
  
"I would like to list you as co trustee as well in my will, to help Sam."  
  
"Sure Doc." He pauses, "Can I ask what is bringing this on, some future vision?"  
  
I have to laugh, this is true to his way.  
  
"No not really, I am just trying to make sure everything is settled."  
  
"What ever you need Doc, just let me know."  
  
"All I need is for you to carry out my wishes, and..." I drift off, unsure how to say what I really want to say, "I need you to take care of Sam for me."  
  
"Carter, she...she would be okay."  
  
"With all do respect Colonel, no she wouldn't"  
  
He just sits there with a blank stare, does not he not have a clue?  
  
"You mean you haven't noticed how she has reacted to Daniel's loss, to your..."  
  
Again with the blank stare. Geeze, how could he not see it? See her?  
  
"My what?"  
  
"Your extended stay with Maybourne."  
  
I see it register in his eyes, he connected the dots.  
  
"Oh" He says softly, "that."  
  
"Yes that Sir."  
  
"Do you know what that did to her Sir?"  
  
"She fought the General tooth and nail. She fought everyone over everything."  
  
I don't think he knows what to say, since he is just sitting here looking down at the table, registering everything I am saying to him.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Sir-Jack, Sam...she went through hell all in the span of months, then to almost lose you on that planet..."  
  
Unsure whether or not I should continue, I don't want to break her confidence, but I think he needs to know. It might explain why I am doing what I am doing.  
  
"Do you know how hard she worked to find a way to get to you? To bring you back to earth, back home..."I pause, "back to her."  
  
His head pops up and he looks me dead in the eye.  
  
"I didn't know."  
  
"Remember Endora?"  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"Think...worse."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Yeah," I look over at him, the sadness visible in his eyes, his features, all screamed at me. "Every time I wanted her to stop and sleep just for a few hours, she always cried herself to sleep."  
  
Back to the stare again, I know he doesn't know what to say. And I know I don't know what to say to comfort him either.  
  
"Teal'c even was concerned about her. He called me after the day Hammond spoke to the rest of the team." I paused for a moment, gathering my thoughts, and checking my watch.  
  
"He wanted me to go and check on her at home, said she cried in his arms in the locker room."  
  
We sat there for a bit longer before I had to go back for my interview with the lawyers. He filled out the right spots on the form and then left me saddened by the turn of events.  
  
I swear these things make everything sound so depressing every time we update them.  
  
That afternoon I went and changed my primary to Colonel O'Neill, and left Sam as the Trustee on my will, with a list of things I need her to take care of, Cassie for one. I have always thought she would make a wonderful mother, have always waited for her to have children, so I could spoiler her and her child rotten from the moment she found out she was pregnant. This isn't how I imagined her getting a child.  
  
But I need to know Cassie will be in the best of hands. And Sam is it.  
  
If anything happens to me, I know Cassie will be in the same shape are Sam will be. She has told me on a number of times, that she doesn't want me to go through the gate. Nothing good can ever happen from it, have them bring the injured to me, as long I am at the base I am safe.  
  
But you know that things happen, and they don't always go as planned.  
  
I know Sam knows this to, I don't think she could of bet money on how she would feel about her new CO all those years ago. But she is a solider, and knows what comes with war. Its always death unfortunately.  
  
Man I have to get out of this melancholy mood before I head home to Cassie.  
  
I have to get home.  
  
All the way home, I think about what happened today, maybe I was a bit hard on the Colonel, but he kept giving me these blank stares, like he didn't know of the things that were happening around him. Especially over the last few months.  
  
As I pull into my driveway, I see my kitchen light on and Cassie sitting at the table doing homework, I think anyway. She better be.  
  
As soon as I walk through the door, she knows there is something wrong, and I promise to talk to her over dinner. I think she should know of the changes I have made. Cassie is old enough to know what's going on in her life, even if she chooses to let everyone think she is clueless.  
  
Ahh teenage life.  
  
"So mom, what happened today?" Cassie asks as she pours some more soda.  
  
"Um, I made some changes to my will and power of attorney today. Do you remember when I spoke to you last year, Sam was put in charge of my affairs."  
  
"Yeah, Mom I still don't understand why you can't name me for that."  
  
I sigh, yes this was a main cause for argument last year. I remember all to well.  
  
"Because honey, you have to be of the age of 18."  
  
"Yeah yeah yeah, I still don't understand."  
  
"Well, I changed it a bit this year."  
  
"Okay...what happened with Sam?'  
  
"Well I was thinking about how Sam this year has been through so much, with losing Daniel..." I trail off and look down at my plate. It still hurts, I miss him still.  
  
"Mom, I know, I miss him too." She reaches across the take and holds my hand, giving me whatever strength she can.  
  
"Then after we almost lost the Colonel, again..." I realize that this is harder for me. "I don't think Sam could full fill my wishes if something were to happen to me, and..."  
  
I can't finish the statement, but I know Cassie understands what I am trying to say to her.  
  
"So who is this lucky person?"  
  
I know she is joking, she doesn't mean it like that. This is just her way of dealing with everything. Or she has been hanging around Colonel O'Neill way to much.  
  
Speaking of which...  
  
"Umm, Colonel O'Neill."  
  
She just looks at me.  
  
"I think he would be the best person, to watch over me, you, and Sam."  
  
As we sit on the couch after dessert, Cassie snuggles into me and tells me that I made the right choice, and she didn't forget to tell me that she didn't want anything to ever happen to me.  
  
Part 2? Feedback is welcome. 


	2. Losses and Gains

Part 2 Title: Losses and Gains Author: Serendipity Summary: Part 2 of Wills and Guardianships. Contains just before Heroes and right after the episode. Janet's POV. Warning Character death in this part. Lots of Angst, Hurt... Dedicated to Kathy  
  
Thank god, the guys went already and are fully geared up for this rescue mission. It gives me a few moments to think, to get my head on straight. Going through the gate isn't a difficult thing, its just that I don't do it that much.  
  
As Cassie has said, it's sometimes better to have the injured come to you.  
  
But not this time. I have to go to them.  
  
As I lace up my boot, for some reason there is this nagging feeling in the base of my stomach. You know the kind when you know something is about to go drastically wrong.  
  
I stop what I am doing, and look up. I guess Sam noticed, because she asked me what was wrong.  
  
"Janet" She says, as she comes to sit next to me on the bench. "What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Janet..."  
  
I know there is no fooling Sam. She has this gift to know exactly what one is thinking.  
  
Like now.  
  
"I am fine Sam. Really, there is nothing to worry about."  
  
"I worry Janet."  
  
We sit in silence for a few moments before I decide that its probably a good thing to tell Sam.  
  
Not that its going to make this feeling go away.  
  
I take a deep breath, "You know when you get this feeling in the pit of your stomach, like something is going to go really really wrong?"  
  
She nods. I know first hand that Sam has had these kind of feelings before. Especially when a certain Colonel is involved.  
  
Anyway, "I have that feeling right now Sam. I know I shouldn't be nervous or scared, or any of the other emotions that are flowing through me," I stop and look over at her, "But I can't help it Sam."  
  
"Janet, I of all people understand what you are feeling. This is a standard recon, get to the injured and get home." She grabs my hand and gives it a quick squeeze, "There is nothing to worry about Janet."  
  
Its hard to believe her, this feeling is so strong.  
  
I shrug and finish my task at hand.  
  
This is all wrong.  
  
We finish gearing up and head to the embarkation room where the rest of SG- 1 are waiting along with my medical staff.  
  
This is it... I don't know what to think or say...I just have to do my job.  
  
And get home.  
  
Why am I so nervous?  
  
Once through the gate, Colonel O'Neill gave out orders, and I took Daniel with me to scout out for the injured SG team.  
  
I was working as fast and completely as I can. I have already headed over to the second solider I would, Daniel surprisingly is keeping up and doing exactly what I am telling him to do.  
  
As quickly as we started to make progress, was as quickly as it all went to hell.  
  
Shots rang out, I saw Daniel draw his weapon and yell at me to keep on working, he was there. Everything was going to be alright.  
  
So I kept on working.  
  
I looked up suddenly and motioned to get Daniel's attention, when suddenly there was a loud whoosh, and I felt hot and burning pain. I hear Daniel screaming at me to stay still, holding my hand.  
  
I see him look away and over at someone else who was running towards us no doubt.  
  
Realizing it was the Colonel, I struggle to turn my head towards him.  
  
"Doc, you have to hold on."  
  
"Colonel..."  
  
"Daniel, come on lets get this show on the road."  
  
I can tell he is struggling with this. Poor Daniel, he doesn't know what to do...  
  
"Daniel, come on, get a move on."  
  
Daniel just sits there next to me, how can I leave this man? He is holding my hand, and stroking the said of my face with the other.  
  
The thought saddens me that I never got to tell him what my feelings were, that we never got the chance to...  
  
Oh Daniel...  
  
I can hear the shots getting louder, they are getting closer.  
  
"Colonel, please..." I reach for his hand to get his attention.  
  
"Doc..."  
  
"Take care of Cassie, and..." I stop this is so hard, I can feel myself leaving this place, and I don't want to go, "And watch over Sam. Take care of her, she is going to need you."  
  
I can hear Sam yelling for us in the background, oh god please don't let her see this, I can't do that to her. Please Sam stay away, go dial the gate, go...do something.  
  
I must be trying to move around or something because I hear the Colonel talking to me again. "Doc, come on stay still, we are going to make it home." God he sounds so sad, so lost.  
  
Funny how I can't feel anything, I am just so numb...cold.  
  
Although I could see it in his eyes, I know the Colonel is lying to me.  
  
I knew I wasn't going to make it home.  
  
Daniel and the Colonel some how got me onto some sort of gurney and we were now running towards the gate.  
  
I could hear it being dialed up from where we were.  
  
And then there was nothing. 


	3. Lost

Title: Lost Author: Serendipity Summary: What happens next. Authors Notes: Character Death from previous chapter. Multiple POV Category: Hurt, Comfort, Agnst, S/J Dedicated to Kathy  
  
Sam's Pov  
  
Oh god!!  
  
I watch as Colonel O'Neill and Daniel come running past me through the gate. Both looking...I don't now how to describe it, sad.  
  
Daniel especially.  
  
"Sir..." I call out to him, as he goes by me.  
  
"Carter, through the gate, NOW!" he yells at me.  
  
"Yes, Sir." I follow through the gate.  
  
Janet was hit, Janet was hurt...My mind is racing.  
  
When we make it through to the SGC, she is carted off like we have been over the last several years to the infirmary.  
  
I have to go and see her, make sure she is ok.  
  
As I walk forward, the Colonel, stops me as the General comes up to us and asks what happened on the planet.  
  
I can't tell him for once, so I lower my head and find my boots even more interesting.  
  
But in truth I can't, I wasn't there.  
  
And all I want to do is make sure my friend is ok.  
  
The others pick up on my distress, I think they know more then I about her actual health then they are telling me.  
  
A few moments later, the General dismisses us, and I had over my weapons.  
  
This is it Sam, its now or never.  
  
Slowly I make my way out of the gateroom. I am moving slowly, like I am actually stalling finding out how my friend is.  
  
Daniel and the Colonel have already walked out and are most likely headed in to the same destination as I.  
  
I turn around to see Teal'c behind me. The big brother I have always wanted.  
  
These people are my family.  
  
"MajorCarter, is everything okay?"  
  
"Yeah, let's go see how Doctor Fraiser is doing." I put on a fake smile, and continue on my way.  
  
I know he knows I am lying. But still he doesn't say a word.  
  
I know for some reason he will find me later somewhere and try to talk to me once again.  
  
Because we are his family now too.  
  
We make to the infirmary and see the Colonel talking to Daniel outside, it looks like he is crying.  
  
Oh no!  
  
"Sir?" I ask hesitantly.  
  
I look up at the two men in front of me, I don't know what to say. I know she is gone, but I need to hear it for myself.  
  
"Sir?" I ask again, my voice a whisper, I hope he can hear me, I don't want to have to repeat myself. I know I can't handle it.  
  
"She's gone Carter. There was nothing they could do."  
  
Oh God.  
  
She's gone.  
  
I don't think I can deal with this right now.  
  
So what do I do? I run, like always.  
  
I don't know where I am going.. I don't think it matters.  
  
I know I ran threw a few people on my way to the locker room. At least that's where I ended up. I didn't want everyone on base to see me cry, and I know the tears are coming.  
  
Thank god no one is in here... I change the sign on the wall outside and walk in and slowly make my way over to Janet's locker. As I gently rub my fingers over her name, the tears finally start to fall.  
  
Before I know it, I am sitting in a crumble on the floor crying my eyes out.  
  
My best friend is gone.  
  
I have no clue how long I sat here in the same spot, my knees pulled up to my chest, but it feels like I have lost all the feeling in the lower part of my body.  
  
That brings a laugh to me, Janet would always say something like that to me.  
  
God I miss her already.  
  
I think I am okay now. That I can hold it together till I get home at least.  
  
Maybe.  
  
Maybe not.  
  
I have started to take off my boots at this point, when I hear the door open and someone walk inside.  
  
"MajorCarter..." Teal'c, I told you he would find me again.  
  
I also know he doesn't know what to say either.  
  
I know I don't.  
  
He sits down next to me on the bunch and looks over at me.  
  
"I am for a lack of words."  
  
"Me too Teal'c."  
  
"MajorFraiser was a fine warrior, and a dear friend. She will be missed."  
  
I know this, I miss her already.  
  
And for the third of forth time today, I have lost count really, I cry.  
  
Teal'c reaches over and brings me into an embrace.  
  
After a few moments, I have to say something, I have to get this off my chest so to speak.  
  
"She told me there was something off before we left this morning. Janet knew something bad was going to happen on this mission today."  
  
I play with the tissue in my hands, looking for the answers I would never find there.  
  
"How would she know that MajorCarter?"  
  
"She just had this feeling, she was really nervous this morning." I pause for a moment, "I should of said something, made her stay here. I should of done something."  
  
"There was nothing you could of done MajorCarter."  
  
"I let her die Teal'c. It was my fault."  
  
"That is untrue."  
  
Okay, I am beyond hysterical, I am down right mad, mad at me, mad at Janet, mad at everyone."  
  
This is not your fault, I hear Teal'c telling me, in a way I know that's true. But I can't bring myself to believe it.  
  
I want my friend back.  
  
I sent her to her death. I didn't report her feelings to Colonel O'Neill, to General Hammond.  
  
I should of done something.  
  
This is my fault.  
  
I start to fight against Teal'c, I want him to let me go, I want to bring Janet back. I know there is no way I could ever really DO anything to him, so I don't know why I bother trying, but fighting against the truth is....  
  
God I need to get home.  
  
Home to what? Are we really a family here? What do I have in my life?  
  
An empty house? A cool car and cycle... but that's it.  
  
God I feel so alone.  
  
This is all my fault.  
  
I miss my friend.  
  
Damn it I am crying again.  
  
Am I ever going to stop?  
  
I don't know when but Teal'c left. That's ok though, I just want to be alone.  
  
No one should be near me right now.  
  
Teal'c POV  
  
I am worried about MajorCarter.  
  
I have never seen her like this before. Even when O'Neill was missing, twice.  
  
Does she not know that this is not her fault?  
  
Major Carter is a fine warrior, and the best of friend.  
  
She should not be in this state.  
  
She needs our help.  
  
I must go find O'Neill.  
  
Carter's POV  
  
I have to get out of here, and as fast as I can.  
  
Shit, Cassie!  
  
I have to get Cassie.  
  
Good god what am I going to tell her? That she lost another mother?  
  
I can't do this.  
  
I don't know how.  
  
God I am a mess.  
  
Janet would know what to do in this situation.  
  
Damn, I am crying again.  
  
Why do I feel so alone?  
  
Quickly I grab my things and basically run out of the locker room and towards the elevator.  
  
Signing out with the Airmen I make my way to my car.  
  
I am never going to get through this night.  
  
Some loud music later and lots of tears, I finally make it to Janet's home. A home that when I walk in I won't be embraced by my best friend, we wont sit at the dining room table and obsess over men and drink wine.  
  
We won't have any more team nights here with pizza and beer, and wonder how she beats the pants off the guys at poker.  
  
God what am I going to do?  
  
Slowly I exit my car, and walk up the front steps. Before I could open the door, Cassie is opening the door throwing herself at me.  
  
I think she can tell that something happened. She always calls her mom when she gets home from school.  
  
Today she didn't get to do that.  
  
Cassie lost her mom.  
  
"Sam, what's...." She paused and looked at me closely, "What happened to mom?"  
  
"Honey, lets go inside."  
  
We walk in and close the door.  
  
Can I do this?  
  
"Sam, where's mom? Why are you crying?"  
  
Then it dawns on her.  
  
"Oh no, Sam, no...no she can't be!!" I am getting the same reaction from her, as what Teal'c received from me.  
  
I don't know what to say, I am crying again, I don't think I have ever stopped. As I reach for her, she tries to pull away but I won't let her.  
  
"No, no, no, no...I want my mom!" She is crying over and over.  
  
I know honey, I want her too.  
  
We sit there on the couch for the longest time. I think we were both trying to gather strength from each other.  
  
I am not sure we can get through this.  
  
I feel like I lost my sister and Cassie, yet another mom.  
  
"Why Sam, I asked her not to go through the gate today."  
  
I didn't respond.  
  
"I wanted her to stay on the base, let you guys bring the injured to her. I knew this was going to happen."  
  
"She told me the same thing this morning before we left."  
  
Cassie looks up at me, angry.  
  
"And you let her! Sam you should of stopped her. Should have told her not to go!"  
  
"I know I should of, this is all my fault."  
  
My admission stops her in her tracks.  
  
"I am so sorry Cassie, I never wanted this to happen."  
  
Cassie looks up at me, "Sam, it's not your fault. Mom was being mom."  
  
I look away, how could she not think it was my fault?  
  
I blame me, how can Cassie not blame me.  
  
The look on Daniel's face told me he blamed me as well. 


	4. Alone

Title: Alone Author: Serendipity Summary: What happens now? Category: Agnst/S/J/Drama/Multiple Pov Authors Notes: Things happen a bit different in here...but hey it's a story, I can change a few things ( Enjoy. Dedicated to Kathy  
  
O'Neill  
  
I know how I am dealing with the loss of the Doc, I can imagine what Carter is going through.  
  
Actually I can't, not totally anyway.  
  
I have lost friends in battle before. But there is nothing that can prepare you for the loss, the emptiness, the guilt.  
  
And that's what can eat you alive.  
  
I know its eating me right now. I don't know what to do, Doc, even with her big needles, was a good friend to me. One of my best friends, no matter how many times she stuck me with those big ass needles of hers.  
  
Personally I think she enjoyed it way to much.  
  
This is how I deal, I get real sarcastic. Yes, worse then I usually am.  
  
I miss the dinners at her house, the picnics with Cassie in the park, the team, ahh hell, the family outings that we all went too.  
  
Not that I would admit it.  
  
I guess I am doing okay, well a lot better then Daniel is.  
  
He is a mess.  
  
He told me that this is almost as bad as losing his parents.  
  
I think he really had feelings for her, although he never said anything to any of us.  
  
And just that thought is bringing a whole different train of thought into my head, that I know I am not ready to think about.  
  
Although, as much as the idea is appealing to me...  
  
I walked Daniel to his office, he had insisted in saying goodbye to her in the infirmary, and much to my dismay, he went in. I heard him speaking in hushed tones to her, but I don't know what was said.  
  
It was none of my business, he was robbed of something in life, that now he has lost twice.  
  
It is unfair.  
  
Daniel said he wanted to be alone, that he was going to go home.  
  
I am wondering if I should ask if he wanted company, maybe I will find Teal'c and send him to check on him later.  
  
After everything that we all have gone through together, I feel like I have to be strong for my team mates, my family.  
  
I can't let them see me upset, angry, or sad...I have to be the strong one.  
  
I'll deny I ever said that if anyone asks.  
  
Now I am just roaming the hallways of the SGC... I don't want to me alone, but I don't know where to go either.  
  
As I round the corner, yup, I am totally in my thoughts I run into Teal'c.  
  
Opps.  
  
"O'Neill." He says to me.  
  
I can tell by the look in his eyes, that he isn't fairing to well either.  
  
"Hey T."  
  
"I am concerned about MajorCarter..."  
  
"Come on T, lets go get something to eat." I guide him around the corner to the commissary.  
  
When we sit at our regular table, I have to ask... Hoping that Carter Is really ok.. well as okay as she can be.  
  
"So what has you concerned about Carter, is she okay?"  
  
"No I do not believe MajorCarter is alright. She is deeply troubled, and is grieving."  
  
"We all are T."  
  
"Not in the same way O'Neill." He stops, "I believe MajorCarter blames herself for what happened to DoctorFraiser."  
  
"What happened..." I start with a raised voice, "was not her fault." I finish in a hushed tone, looking around to make sure not to many people where interested in what I was saying. Not that I care anyway.  
  
"MajorCarter believes it is O'Neill." He deadpans, "I am very concerned she might do something irrational."  
  
Well that certainly got my attention.  
  
"Is she still here?"  
  
"I believe she left."  
  
I didn't even say goodbye, I just got up and left poor Teal'c sitting at the table alone.  
  
A quick check with the Airmen, I found out that she had left the base.  
  
With the sudden urge to see Carter. Its like a force, and you can't stop it.  
  
SO, Off I go.  
  
As I made the drive over to Carters, I am trying to figure out what exactly to say to her.  
  
I know that right now, I just need to be near her, for whatever it is worth.  
  
I need her.  
  
Plain and simple.  
  
There are so many things that I want from her.  
  
Losing Doc, it made me open my eyes. I mean she wasn't even on the front line. She has only been through the gate maybe five times.  
  
I go through the damn thing like two or three times a week...and well I am still here.  
  
I look at Daniel and I see a man who lost the two most important people in his life. One he didn't have any control over, he didn't even have time to tell her what he felt.  
  
I don't want that to be me.  
  
I think my truck automatically knows its way to Carter's because for some reason I don't remember any of the ride here and I am pulling into her...empty drive way.  
  
This is all catching up to me I think.  
  
Actually I know. I can't deal with this.  
  
I just lost one of my best friends.  
  
And I need my other best friend, and she's not here. Oh god what if something happened to her? What if she had an accident on the way home, and she is on the side of the road somewhere hurt.  
  
I can't lose her.  
  
I can't, I just can't.  
  
I know now that this has caught up to me.  
  
It has started to rain outside, I haven't made it from my truck yet to the door.  
  
The rain is not that bad, I mean its like my insides right now. A mess.  
  
And I feel lonely, and incomplete, and sad, angry.. you name it.  
  
Its finally dark out by now, and I am worried...  
  
This feels almost like when I lost Charlie, granted not as tough, obviously, but its right up there.  
  
I didn't notice until I wiped at my eyes, but I am crying.  
  
I am actually sitting in my truck in front of Carter's house, in the rain and dark. Crying.  
  
What would she think if she saw me like this?  
  
In a way I want to be able to be like this with her. I want to e able to share everything with this woman.  
  
In my musing, I don't see the headlights pull in behind me, and I don't hear the two doors close either.  
  
Suddenly, Carter is standing outside my door looking through at me with red teary eyes.  
  
The sight just brings me right back to tears myself.  
  
I look over and see Cassie who has come to stand next to Carter, looking the same as the two of us.  
  
"Come inside Sir." She says, and I am not even sure how I heard here through the glass.  
  
As she walks towards the house, I slowly climb out of my truck and follow her. 


	5. Alone in an Empty

I want to thank all of you that have sent through feedback to me. I have really enjoyed writing this story, and I am surprised I am on Part 5 of all things ( Thanks again!!  
  
Title: Alone in a Empty House Author: Serendipity Summary: What happens next Category: Agnst, Hurt/Comfort/S/J Authors Notes: They don't belong to me. Dedicated to Kathy  
  
Carter's POV  
  
I was sure he would come to me at some point during all of this. I just didn't expect him to be waiting for me at my house.  
  
In his truck, crying.  
  
I didn't expect that at all.  
  
I knew that I needed him to be here for me.  
  
And I am glad he is here.  
  
But the sight of him in his truck like that.  
  
All I wanted to do is take him in my arms and support him with all my might.  
  
I have lost one of best friends, but also so has he.  
  
As I open the door Cassie is the first one through the door, and I step in to hold the door for the Colonel, who is taking his time for some reason.  
  
He walks up to me and stops right in front of me, as he reaches for me I pull him towards me in an embrace. He wraps his arms around my waist and hold me so close.  
  
There are so many things going through my mind right now.  
  
My tears start to flow again, and I can tell that his are too.  
  
He whispers to me, and I am barely able to understand, but I do. He said he was sorry.  
  
Much to my dismay he pulls away, but not totally. His hand finds mine and we close the door behind us and Cassie is once again in my arms.  
  
This is so hard. I don't know how I am going to get through this. I don't know how Cassie is.  
  
I feel the Colonel (should I keep referring to him in such an official way, here? Like this?) anyway, he reaches up and rests his hand on my back and from where I am standing it looks like Cassie's too.  
  
Silently giving us strength. Or wanting to join us in the embrace.  
  
I think he needs us just as much right now.  
  
A while later, Cassie goes into 'her' room and silently shuts the door.  
  
Jack said he would gather Cassie's stuff from my car and bring it in the house for me.  
  
Which is good because I don't think I have the strength to do much of anything right now.  
  
So I put some tea on and sit down on my couch, my legs curled up under me. I just stare out the window in front of me.  
  
God I miss her already.  
  
If she were here she would know exactly what to say to cheer me up. It would probably be something like 'Sam, you know, they would not like you to sit here alone in your house, feeling guilty over something you couldn't have avoided.'  
  
Yeah yeah yeah, I have had that conservation with her, oh about every time Jack has gone missing.  
  
But now I am sitting here alone, I don't know what to do. Cassie won't stop crying, and neither will Jack.  
  
I don't even feel him sit down next to me on the couch. I know he wants to talk, I know he does. But I am not sure I can talk right now.  
  
I want him close, but I don't. And I don't know how to feel or what to do.  
  
I would feel guilty if I sent him home... so I can't do that. But, I just don't want to talk to anyone.  
  
So here I sit here, my feet curled up under me... and next to the man...  
  
Umm, anyway, I can see the wheels turning in his mind, I have to put a stop to this. I can't do this right now.  
  
"Carter...Sam.." There is such sadness in his voice, I am unsure of what to actually say to him.  
  
"Jack, I..." I look up at him, "I can't talk about this right now, I just can't."  
  
Sadness is just pouring out of me, I can feel the tears again.  
  
I feel so guilty.  
  
This all my fault.  
  
I think he can see what I am feeling, just by looking into my eyes.  
  
"Sam, this is not your fault."  
  
I just stare blankly at him. How can he say that?  
  
"How can you say that?"  
  
"Because she was treating the injured, she was doing her job. You had nothing to do with it."  
  
"Yes I did."  
  
Doesn't he get it?  
  
"No Sam, you didn't. What did she do, tell you she was going to die in the locker room this morning."  
  
How did he know?  
  
"Not in so many words, no."  
  
"Sam, you didn't do this."  
  
"Yes I did, don't you see?"  
  
I am angry now, voice raised, damn it listen to me!  
  
"You are going to wake Cassie, Sam, calm down."  
  
"No I will not calm down Sir! This is my house, and you are my guest. I will not ask you to go home, for the shear fact that I don't want you driving home in this... I don't know what this is. But don't you dare tell me that I am not responsible for my best friends death, because I am!."  
  
I can't sit here anymore so I get up forcefully I might add and step over his legs. As I do he reaches for my hand and I pull it away.  
  
Silently I go into my room and close the door.  
  
Silence and darkness.  
  
I strip down into my sleep clothes and get into bed. All I want to do is cry myself to sleep.  
  
Cassie's POV  
  
I knew they would think I was asleep. I wasn't, I was just sitting in what I would normally call my second room.  
  
I think now it's my room though.  
  
I put up some pictures of mom and me, and I was just laying in bed looking at them.  
  
I started to drift off, when I heard talking and then Sam's raised voice. They were arguing. I heard Sam say something about mom's death being her fault.  
  
I hope it's not true. I know it can't be, that maybe it's just the guilt talking.  
  
I hope it is.  
  
I wait a few minutes, should I go out and see if everything is alright? I don't think I should. I don't want to get into the middle of this, but I want to know.  
  
I don't want my family to argue.  
  
That's what these guys are now, they are my family. Not that they weren't before, it just takes on new meaning now.  
  
I hear Sam walk to her room and close the door.  
  
Well I know jack is still out there. Maybe I will go check on him in a minute.  
  
I straighten my mom's picture and climb off the bed. Checking my eyes in the mirror, I slowly open my door and step out.  
  
Why am I being so cautious?  
  
I see jack sitting on the couch all alone. He has tears in his eyes, like he just lost his second best friend in the world.  
  
Maybe I should try and talk to him.  
  
"Jack?"  
  
"Hey Cassie, how are you feeling?"  
  
"I am okay, considering."  
  
"Do you want something to eat, I am sure Sam has something for you to eat..."  
  
"I am not hungry." I pause and sit down next to him on the couch. "Where is Sam?"  
  
"She went to bed."  
  
"I heard you guys arguing."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Why?"  
  
He looks so sad right now, I don't know what to say or do to make him feel better.  
  
"Sam, is carrying around a lot of guilt for what happened to your mom."  
  
"But she didn't have anything to do with what happened, did she?"  
  
"No Cassie she didn't. Although she thinks she does."  
  
"I have to talk to her."  
  
He reaches out to me and stops my retreat.  
  
"No I would just leave her alone right now Cassie."  
  
"But..."  
  
"Cassie."  
  
"Okay, but can I sit here with you?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
We sit for a while, not saying anything, just enjoying each others company.  
  
It was so nice not to be alone.  
  
"Jack?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"What happened to my mom?"  
  
"I don't think I should tell you Cassie."  
  
"I want to know, please."  
  
"She was helping an injured member when she was shot."  
  
"Was it painless?"  
  
"I would like to think so Cassie."  
  
"I wish I could have said goodbye."  
  
"I know." He pauses for a moment, "But she wanted me to tell you that she will always love you."  
  
"You were with her?"  
  
"Yeah, Cassie I am so sorry, if I could trade places..."  
  
"Don't say that Jack."  
  
"I think I am going to go watch some tv, then hopefully go to sleep." I tell him.  
  
"Don't stay up to late Cassie."  
  
"I won't. I think you should go check on Sam in a little bit, she was crying before."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Be easy on her Jack."  
  
Jack's POV  
  
Well if she got any smarter then, I'd be in real trouble.  
  
I will go check on Sam like Cassie asked me to.  
  
I just hope she wants to see me.  
  
I need to see her. 


	6. Alone with no friends

Title: Alone with no Friends Author: Serendipity Multiple POV Notes: Where do we go after we lose a family member? Dedicated to Kathy and Amy  
  
Sam's POV  
  
God, I thought I was the strong one.  
  
I can't do this anymore, that's it I am done.  
  
Finished  
  
Fineto  
  
Over  
  
Here I sit in my room, door locked. Crying.  
  
Cassie is out there wit Jack, and I am in here.  
  
Aren't I supposed to be the one who is comforting Cassie because she just lost her mother.  
  
God I am an ass.  
  
And what about Jack. He came over here to be near me, and here I sit.  
  
God I miss Janet already.  
  
I am so lost, I don't know what to do.  
  
I crawl over to the door. Yes you heard me right, crawl, I am sitting on the floor in the dark.  
  
I wanted to know what was going on out in my living room. I know Jack didn't leave, I didn't hear his truck.  
  
But I did hear Cassie come out of her room.  
  
The soft whispers drift quietly down my hall to my room.  
  
Cassie is worried about me. Hell I am worried about me.  
  
I hear her say to Jack that she wants him to check on me.  
  
If I cared, I would move from my spot on the floor.  
  
But I don't.  
  
I wonder what Jack and Cassie are talking about.  
  
The door closes to Cassie's room and I move away, for some reason the door hitting me in the head doesn't sound all that inviting.  
  
But I don't want to get off the floor. If anyone wants me they can come to me.  
  
How am I going to make it through all of this?  
  
Am I going to be a good mother to Cassie?  
  
Is she is going to want me?  
  
Is Jack going to want me?  
  
How can we ever have something if when every time we go through the gate, there is a chance I won't come back with them?  
  
I can't let him go through what I am going through right now.  
  
Life is so unfair.  
  
I lost my best friend.  
  
Great here come the tears again.  
  
Why can't I stop crying?  
  
I am not sure how long I have been sitting here or how long it takes for Jack to knock at my door.  
  
I didn't respond to the soft knock... but he slowly opens the door and looks in.  
  
I don't think he can see me, I am sitting on the floor, in the shadows.  
  
"Sam?"  
  
I don't answer him. I know he knows I am in here. He just can't see me.  
  
He walks in and closes the door behind him and he sits on the floor opposite me, leaning on my bed.  
  
No sure how he knew where I was in my room though.  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
"Do I sound okay?"  
  
"No, no I guess not."  
  
We sit there in silence for a while.  
  
"I needed to see you." He says to me. I almost didn't hear him.  
  
"I know."  
  
"I hope you don't mind me coming over."  
  
"I don't."  
  
"Sam, do you want to talk?"  
  
Why would I want to talk, that just leads back to crying, and guilt... and  
  
"Not right now, no."  
  
He looks down at his hands... I can see him from the moonlight that is streaming through the windows.  
  
I have the advantage.  
  
He looks so tired, sad, worn out.  
  
I know the guilt is eating him alive.  
  
As it is me.  
  
We lost a sister today.  
  
And a mother, a friend....  
  
"That doesn't mean if you need to talk to me Jack, you can...talk...that is...to me."  
  
"I know."  
  
We sit there for a bit longer and I crawl over to him and turn to sit next to him.  
  
I have the over whelming urge to be next to him, to touch him...  
  
There is something about this man, that I just need...does that make sense?  
  
Every time in my life that something has happened...something stressful...he is always there for me. Always giving me silent support.  
  
I am going to be greedy tonight and take whatever I can get from him.  
  
"I know things happen, and we have all come so close to actually..."  
  
I reach over and wrap my fingers around his, giving him a gentle squeeze.  
  
It's ok to continue, I tell him.  
  
"I just wonder, who is next."  
  
"Now that we lost... Janet..."  
  
"I don't want it to be you Sam."  
  
I can hear the sadness in his voice.  
  
I feel it in my heart.  
  
"I don't want it to be me either..." I half smile, trying to add some humor, but failing miserably.  
  
"The Doc, that's one hurt, but if I lost you..."  
  
"Yeah, I know." I sigh and rest my head on his shoulder, "It would be the same for me."  
  
Our fingers intertwine and my tears start to fall again.  
  
I want to yell and scream and fight, but I just don't have it in me anymore.  
  
Jack holds on to me like I am going to float away. He holds me tight and gentle at the same time.  
  
I need this man.  
  
I am starting to fall asleep, thank god!  
  
Whatever he is doing, it's working. I just hope he follows me into the dream world as well.  
  
"Jack?"  
  
I know he knows what I am going to ask. Slowly he stands up and helps me to my feet, well as much as I can.  
  
I think today has finally caught up to me.  
  
I am not sure how exactly I made it into my bed.. but I did. I can feel him moving away.  
  
NO!!! I want to scream.  
  
He tucks me in and turns to leave.  
  
"Please stay." Is all I say to him, as I feel the bed dip a little and the covers move.  
  
Slowly he cradles up to me and wraps his arm around me pulling me even closer. 


	7. Family

Thanks to everyone who has sent feedback ( I am sorry its taking so long this week to get the rest of this out, RL has been nuts.  
  
Title: Family Author: Serendipity Summary: What's Next Authors Notes: It's a fic, I can play with them as I want lol. I don't own them. Multiple POV story. Dedicated to Kathy Archive: Gateworld, and others.. just let me know where.. I am super busy, if anyone wants to archive for me that would be wonderful.  
  
Daniel's POV  
  
I am not sure what is happening to me. Why I am like this all of a sudden.  
  
Its like I cant stop crying, I can't stop feeling guilty.  
  
Its my fault she's gone. I was right there, and I couldn't save her.  
  
I didn't do anything... maybe my brain was to stunned to figure out what to do... I am not sure.  
  
I wish she was here... all I want to do is tell her that I am sorry.  
  
I would trade with her in a heart beat.  
  
But I guess you would feel that way if said person was someone who you loved.  
  
What am I going to do?  
  
I waited to long once again.  
  
What is wrong with me? Why can't I just have a normal, well as normal as I can, relationship?  
  
I am sick of hiding.  
  
God I miss her, and it's only been what a few hours, a day... I don't know, I have lost track of time.  
  
I have no clue how to move on from here. I barely moved on from Sha're...and I had actually had a life with her.  
  
At least I got to tell her the things I wanted to say. Show her things that I wanted too.  
  
This time I didn't.  
  
And I am scared to face this life without her.  
  
How now, every time I walk into the infirmary, I will have to be greeted by someone new. That she cheerful face won't be there to comfort me. Her gentle hands...  
  
Oh god here I go again...  
  
What kind of man am I?  
  
Teal'c must think I am...well I don't know...crazy, nuts, insane... oh any of the above will do.  
  
As I sit here alone in my apartment, well not alone, I am in my room and Teal'c is in the living room.  
  
He said he was concerned about me, and wanted to accompany me home for the night.  
  
Yeah like I need anyone right now.  
  
Look at everyone I have ever known, they keep getting hurt or dying.  
  
No one should be around me right now.  
  
How could I of let her leave through the gate without letting her know how I felt? How I still feel?  
  
I think that is one of the very reasons we are so open with each other...well as open as we can be.  
  
I am a terrible person. I should of known.  
  
And I didn't, and now its to late.  
  
I am alone.  
  
And there nothing I can do about it.  
  
Life is cruel.  
  
God where do I go from here?  
  
Teal'c POV  
  
DanielJackson has been in his room for a while now. I am very concerned, I know he is taking this very hard.  
  
But we all need to stay together.  
  
I too am upset. I have lost a dear friend today as well.  
  
I should have watched her a little closer since she does not have the same combat skills as MajorCarter or ColonelO'Neill, but I did not.  
  
And now a fine Doctor and warrior has fallen.  
  
I feel I must share in this guilt.  
  
Many things could have been done differently.  
  
I fear that DanielJackson will never be the same again.  
  
MajorCarter has a lot to deal with as well.  
  
She has lot a sister.  
  
So much death in this war.  
  
I hope it is over soon.  
  
I must go check on DanielJackson.  
  
Daniel's POV  
  
I can hear Teal'c now, he's coming down the hall.  
  
I know he wants to check on me, make sure there isn't something I need.  
  
Yeah there is something I need Teal'c, I need to have Janet come back to life.  
  
That's what I need.  
  
Can you do that for me?  
  
I didn't think so.  
  
So just let me wallow in my self pity and guilt.  
  
I have no idea how I am going to make it through the funeral.  
  
I don't know how any of us are.  
  
And with that there is the knock at the door I have been waiting for,  
  
"DanielJackson..."  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
I have to laugh, Am I alright?  
  
No not really.  
  
I don't think I will ever be okay or alright again.  
  
How many times does a man have to have what's most important to him taken away?  
  
"No Teal'c I am not alright."  
  
He walks slowly into the dark room.  
  
"None of us are DanielJackson. We all suffered a great loss today."  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
I don't know what to say after that.  
  
"Teal'c, have you ever lost someone that you had feelings for, strong feelings for, and never once told them?"  
  
"Indeed DanielJackson, it is a most unfortunate thing to live with."  
  
"Yeah. I just wish there was a way to turn back time, just 24 hours."  
  
We sit there in silence for a bit before he makes his move to leave me.  
  
Good I am alone again. 


	8. Family Squared

Title: Family Squared Author: Serendipity Summary: Multiple POV, What happens next Dedicated to Kathy I don't own them.  
  
Teal'c POV  
  
I must call ColonelO'Neill.  
  
"ColonelO'Neill."  
  
"T, how's Daniel?"  
  
"He is the reason I am calling."  
  
"What's wrong?" He pauses, "Well besides what...."  
  
"DanielJackson seems to be carrying a lot of guilt for DoctorFraiser on his own."  
  
"I think we all are T, Carter is doing the same. It seems that Doc told Carter that she had a very bad feeling about going through the gate."  
  
"I see."  
  
"Yeah, she has been in her room since we got here."  
  
"What should we do O'Neill?"  
  
"Just what we are doing T, there is not much more we can do."  
  
Jack's POV  
  
I had a feeling Daniel was going to slip into this guilt pattern. I have been there all too many times.  
  
Times when I thought I was going to lose Carter...Sam... and have never told her...anything.  
  
It's not a happy feeling at all.  
  
I remember when Jolinar had died for her, when they were rolling her...us into the infirmary... that was one of the times I actually thought I lost her. I cried then.  
  
I know how this feels.  
  
And there is nothing more we can do that we aren't doing now for him... or Sam for that matter.  
  
I am going through my own guilt, as I sit here and remember all the times I gave Doc...Janet a hard time. That was umm...every time I was in the infirmary for one reason or another. I was just trying to make her life harder.  
  
I don't know why I ever did that.  
  
I am so sorry Janet.  
  
We need you here, I need you to come back.  
  
For Sam's sake and Daniel's.  
  
But for me too.  
  
You are defiantly one of my heroes.  
  
How are we ever going to go with this war, this life without you?  
  
The early morning sun is starting to stream in through her curtains. I stayed like she asked me too.  
  
Now I don't know if I can go back to being alone at home.... But that's a whole different thought, and one that's not meant for now.  
  
Last night she cried to sleep again, and I held her tight, as if I could will strength to go from me to her though a simple touch.  
  
I woke up several times in the night, yes I was having nightmares.  
  
Not just of Janet passing right in front of my eyes, but of Daniel dyeing instead of me or Sam.  
  
The c old sweat made me shiver in the warm night. I was hoping it wouldn't wake Sam.  
  
She really needs to sleep.  
  
But it didn't work out that way. She slowly rolled over and looked at me.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing go back to sleep."  
  
"Nightmare?" She asks quietly.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Want to talk about it?"  
  
"Not right now, but I do."  
  
"Okay."  
  
A few minutes later she leans in closer and goes back to sleep.  
  
Needless to say I didn't make it back to sleep. Thank god it wasn't as early as I thought it was, so I didn't lose that much.  
  
Today is going to be a really rough day for all of us.  
  
What I wouldn't do right now for more...but right now, this is more than I could ever think of... to have Sam here with me, like this.  
  
Even if the timing SUCKS.  
  
I run a finger down her arm...I really don't want to wake her, but I just need to do this one little thing.  
  
Making sure she is real.  
  
That I am not alone.  
  
I can't be alone anymore.  
  
I don't want to be alone anymore.  
  
And that's the last thing that Janet has taught me.  
  
I don't want to wake her up yet, so I move my hand away and snuggle in closer to her...whispering what I should have told her so long ago.  
  
I feel her move against me and stretch slightly.  
  
Wow.  
  
"Humm."  
  
"Morning." I say to her as I look down slowly.  
  
"Is it morning already?"  
  
"It is." I am dreading this day.  
  
I wish it was all a bad, bad dream.  
  
"It's not a dream, this is the day?"  
  
"I am afraid its not."  
  
She looks up at me, "A dream that is."  
  
"I don't know if I can do this Jack."  
  
"I will be here for you, I won't leave your side."  
  
"I miss her."  
  
"Me too."  
  
Cassie's POV  
  
Today is the day. I have to bury the second mother I have had.  
  
God why me, what have I done to deserve this?  
  
I know I haven't been that bad of a kid to have this brought upon me. I know it sounds childish, but "I WANT MY MOMMY"  
  
There is no going back, no saving her. I don't have a mom any more.  
  
I have no one.  
  
I know its true and its not.  
  
There are a lot of people who love me, but I want a mom.  
  
And a dad.  
  
But I don't think its ever going to happen again.  
  
God why cant I stop crying long enough to get into the shower?  
  
I can't see!  
  
URGHHHHH!!!!  
  
I just want to scream, cry out, punch something!  
  
Life is SOOO not fair!  
  
Damn I think I woke up Sam, I hear her moving around in her room.  
  
Yup, I did.  
  
"Cassie?"  
  
"Yeah" I say all teary eyed and sad.  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
She walks into my room (so as it is anyway) and I take a good look at her. She too has been crying, and is as unsure about what to do next as I am.  
  
She lost a sister.  
  
"No Sam."  
  
"Neither am I." She responds, and I look around her to see Uncle Jack leaning up against the door frame.  
  
"I want my mom back Sam, can you do that for me?" I ask. Knowing it can't come true, but I want to ask.  
  
"No honey I can't." She's crying again, we both are.  
  
"Can you Uncle Jack?"  
  
He doesn't say anything, but I can see him shaking his head 'no'.  
  
"What did I do wrong? Was I that bad of a kid Sam?"  
  
"Oh no, you didn't do anything Cassie."  
  
"None of this is your fault Cassie." Jack says from behind us. "It's mine Cassie, your mom told me she had some bad feelings about going through the gate." Sam tells me.  
  
"And you let her?" I yell at her.  
  
"How could you let her? You know my mom's instincts are good, if she didn't want to go, why didn't you stop her?" I cry out!  
  
Jack moves to stand next to Sam, but she won't have any of it and pushes away from me and him and runs out the door to the bathroom.  
  
"Cassie, this is not Sam's fault. Your mom had a job to do, and she did it."  
  
I look down at my hands, in a way I know its not Sam's fault, but I want to blame someone.... I am just so lost.  
  
"Sam, is feeling a great deal of guilt right now, because she thinks it is her fault. She did try to get Janet to stay back here, but she wouldn't hear of it."  
  
She tried to make her stay here?  
  
Oh no!  
  
"She came to me, went to Hammond...Cassie she did try."  
  
"Oh god!" 


	9. Gateroom

Jack's POV  
  
I know I have to talk to Sam about what is included in Janet's will and power of attorney, but is it to soon to do this?  
  
Can she handle what is contained inside?  
  
Can I?  
  
I mean, am I ready for this? The very last of Janet Fraiser to be handed out like candy on Halloween?  
  
I know I have to do this, Janet asked me to do this. I know I have to, but why is this so hard?  
  
So as I walk slowly out into the kitchen, I am worried about what I am going to find. When Sam stormed out of Cassie's room before, I thought it would take a sheer miracle to get her out of the bathroom.  
  
I was surprised when I heard the shower start up.  
  
So I climb up onto one of the bar stools and drink my orange juice.  
  
She comes slowly into the kitchen, I can feel her eyes on me.  
  
"Sam..."  
  
She doesn't answer me at first. And I get worried  
  
So I continue.  
  
"You know this isn't your fault right. You didn't do this. Cassie is wrong."  
  
"I know, I know deep down inside."  
  
We sit there in silence for a bit longer. I am not sure how to broach the subject with her.  
  
"Sam, Janet...she came to be a while before...."  
  
She just looks at me, waiting, eyes wide.  
  
"She came to me to ask if she could make me a co-trustee for her will and power of attorney."  
  
"I thought I was...." "You still are Sam, she just thought that if something ever happened to her, you would have a lot..."  
  
The look on her face show me that she knows what I am talking about, about what I am thinking...good because this is so hard.  
  
"She wanted to make sure you had someone to help me."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"That's good."  
  
"We need to talk about this..."  
  
"I know, but not right now okay. Today is going to be hard enough, its not going to hurt to wait another day."  
  
"No its not, and its okay."  
  
"Good."  
  
She is very quiet this morning, who wouldn't be.  
  
Cassie just got into the shower, she stayed in her room after Sam left. Not knowing what to do.  
  
I know she felt guilty about saying that to Sam, she told me as much.  
  
We are all testy these days. The stress is getting to us all.  
  
"I am going to get dressed, we have to be at the SGC in little over an hour." She says to me before leaving behind her coffee and half eaten muffin.  
  
"Alright." I reply and look back down at my empty glass. Its going to be a long day.  
  
About 30 minutes later Cassie is sitting on the couch all ready to go, and Sam is in the kitchen, again. All dressed in her blues and waiting for me.  
  
Janet's ceremony is at the SGC then we are heading out to the cemetery.  
  
The General had planned a little something afterwards at his house, but I doubt we will be in any shape to enjoy it.  
  
I can tell by the look in Sam's and Cassie's eyes that they aren't even enjoying me being here.  
  
Yes I am being sarcastic.  
  
I am not happy either right now.  
  
But I am happy that I have Sam and Cassie here with me to help me, and for me to help them.  
  
That's all that really matters.  
  
I walk out into the kitchen and Sam looks up at me, the usual flare isn't there when she looks at me, but she doesn't look away either.  
  
"Are you ready?" I ask.  
  
"No, but we have to go anyway."  
  
They both follow me out the door and climb in my truck.  
  
Needless to say it was a very quiet ride to the SGC.  
  
The only positive thing that happened was that Sam took my right hand and held on to it, like I was her only lifeline.  
  
'I am here for you Sam, don't ever doubt that.' I say to myself, almost willing for her to hear me.  
  
We arrive and I hold open the door for Sam and Cassie and we walk in together.  
  
Moments later after the saddened hellos, and how are yous, from everyone we are in the gateroom.  
  
The General is the only one who is going to speak here. I am afraid that if I had to nothing would come out. As much as I have to say about the good doctor, right now, I couldn't say any of those things.  
  
I look over at Sam, she is standing next to me, close but not to close, and I know for a fact, she is hold in her tears, and if given the opportunity to speak, well it wouldn't happen either.  
  
I envy Cassie right now, she is allowed to show feelings, show emotion, cry out right in public. I think that half this room would be much better off right now given the opportunity to do that very thing.  
  
"Today we are gathered here to honor a solider, a friend, a mother, a sister to us all who has died..."  
  
That's all I hear, and that's when Sam grabbed onto my hand and didn't let go. 


	10. Daniel and Me

Thanks to everyone for the feedback on this. I am at work right now, and I left Part 10 at home, so I am writing this part, whether its part 10a or 11...who knows lol. Anyway enjoy and thank you again.  
  
PART 10a Cassie's POV  
  
I knew this was going to be rough, I wasn't prepared though.  
  
Sam said I could have some of my close friends join us at the cemetery, which I am glad she did.  
  
As much as I love Sam and Jack, Daniel and everyone else, there are times where I just need to have my friends here.  
  
I think Sam understands too. Which is always a plus. I don't want to complicate things more then they already are.  
  
And any added stress, isn't good for any of us.  
  
While at the SGC, the General was so good. I mean I don't think I could of formed a complete sentence let alone stand up in front of everyone and talk about my mom.  
  
I stood right next to Sam, and she held on to me and Jack like we were the only ones holding her in place.  
  
Of course I did the same thing, and there wasn't a dry eye in the place.  
  
I guess my mom meant a lot more to people then I really knew. I mean there were people lined up in the hallway outside the gateroom, in the control room., you name it.  
  
I was amazed.  
  
You know there are times when you just want to be alone, after the cemetery, all I wanted to do was be alone. My friends came with me to the General's house, but i just want to sit here, and think about mom.  
  
Is that a bad thing, maybe, there are some doctors out there that say well, you should surround yourself with loved ones when a parent dies...yeah yeah yeah  
  
I did that, and i am sure i will do that more this week, so right now, as i sit here on the swing, which is as far away from people as i can get, i want to think of my mom. I wish i could of said goodbye in a more proper way.  
  
And I know I will be asking for a few trips to the cemetery to talk to mom, like i really want to do right now. But i know i just cant sneak off and go. Although it is very tempting.  
  
I hate crowds today. I look over and watch Daniel, he is not doing very well with this. Probably about the same as well actually.  
  
I should probably go and talk to him at some point.  
  
I don't know if I could actually help, but i could try.  
  
Mom always used to say 'you have to try at least.'  
  
He is just sitting there alone in one of the lounge chairs in the yard, suit jacket hanging behind him, tie loosened and the top button of his shirt is unbuttoned.  
  
He looks terrible.  
  
So here goes nothing, i might as well pull up a chair because i have a feeling that i will be there a while. Not that, that is a bad thing.  
  
I just know how he can be when he is upset, sad...whatever.  
  
Sometimes he just babbles, and sometimes he just is quiet. One end of the raindow to the other.  
  
But that's okay, we love him the way he is anyway. Plus you should see me half the time.  
  
No one can usually talk to me without pissing me off in some form or another.  
  
I grab the nearest chair and bring it over to where Daniel sits. He doesnt even look up at me.  
  
Is he even aware that i am here?  
  
"Daniel?" I ask softly, as if not to distrub whatever world he is in right now.  
  
"Hey Cassie." He says plainly.  
  
He is so worse then me. At least I am talking, yelling...anything. This isnt good.  
  
"Daniel, do you want to...i don't know...talk?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Daniel this isn't good. Keeping your feeling and emotions bottled up. You are going to explode."  
  
He just snorts, that what he did, i cant believe it, Daniel snorted. I have to laugh.  
  
"Look at you, i mean it looks like you are coming apart at the seems Daniel. I am worried."  
  
"Don't worry about me."  
  
"To late."  
  
He just looks at me.  
  
"Talk to me Daniel."  
  
"I never told her."  
  
Okay...never told her what?  
  
"I never told her that I loved her, that I wanted to have something more with her."  
  
Hes looking down at his hands now, i know he feels funny talking to me about this, but its obvious he either didnt talk to anyone else, or no one else pushed him hard enough.  
  
"I feel..umm...odd talking to you about this Cassie, i mean shes your mom."  
  
"Daniel if there is one thing I know a lot about, its how my mom felt about you. So please, feel free to talk all you want."  
  
Cassie the expert witness!  
  
He is quiet for a while, like he is trying to gather his thoughts. Gather away Daniel!  
  
"For so long, I have wanted to say something to Janet. When I ascended, god did i miss her."  
  
"They why didnt you?"  
  
"I don't know, I chickened out maybe...who knows."  
  
"She told me that she had feelings for you, loved you..."  
  
I say slowly glancing over at him. "I don't know which is worse, knowing she did and never acting on those feelings, or not knowing at all."  
  
"I don't know Daniel, but I want you to know that she thought you didnt have the same thoughts about her. So she never said anything."  
  
"Oh god."  
  
"Yeah, there were nights after SG-1 would come back from a mission, and one of you was hurt, most of the time it was you, but she would cry herself to sleep that night and usually the following night as well."  
  
"I should of said something, done something."  
  
"Daniel, if there is one thing i learned from her, its don't do this to yourself, you need to let everything out, let it all go. Otherwise guilt and fear are going to eat you alive."  
  
"Yeah, well..."  
  
"No 'yeah, well' Daniel. There are people here who care for you, love you, and who are going through the same thing as you, we want to help you. I don't want to lose you either Daniel."  
  
With that I give him a hug.  
  
"I know Cassie, I don't want to lose you either."  
  
"You wont Daniel, never."  
  
We sit there for a few more minutes.  
  
"Come on lets go get some food, if i am right you havent eaten yet."  
  
I hold out my hand and pull him to his feet.  
  
"Thanks Cassie." 


	11. Sam Part 10a

Sorry guys this is so short... its part 10a! lol Ill make it up to you I promise.  
  
Sam's POV  
  
Well I am glad that is over. I don't think I can do that ever again.  
  
General Hammond was so peaceful and he spoke so lovingly about Janet at the ceremony and at the cemetery.  
  
I was a total mess at both. I really tried to hold on to my 'military bearing' in both places. But it didn't work. For the first time in my whole career, I couldn't do it.  
  
And you know what I don't feel ashamed about it either.  
  
This was a special time.  
  
And exception to the rule.  
  
Jack went right along with me, showing my strength when need be but holding my hand when I needed him as well.  
  
Cassie was by my side the whole time, trying to be the brave girl we all knew she was, but she held tightly to my other hand through out the entire ceremony.  
  
I am glad that the General took all the arrangements upon himself, I knew what Janet wanted, but I don't think I could of but together what she wanted for her.  
  
Jack was right, I would need help with this.  
  
And I can admit that.  
  
Even though I knew what she wanted, I don't think I could of brought myself to carry it out for today.  
  
The plot she had picked out for herself, is amazing, she has the sun rising over her every day, a view of the mountains you could pay a lot of money for. It is so her.  
  
God do I miss her already.  
  
We are sitting in the General's back yard, it is a nice...I am not sure what you want to call it...get together if you may.  
  
I am so glad we decided to bring an extra change of clothes with us to this. I don't think I could have stayed in my blues for the entire afternoon.  
  
Cassie is off sitting alone on the swing, she insisted she needed some time to herself.  
  
Which I can understand completely.  
  
I am just people watching right now, I don't know it's like escaping or something.  
  
I see Cassie walking over to sit walking over to sit with Daniel.  
  
I hope she gets him to talk, I tried before and he just brushed me off. I know Jack tried and so did Hammond.  
  
I am worried about him.  
  
Jack is sitting here next to me, holding my hand.  
  
For someone who is so worried about the regulations and what we 'can't' do, he is sitting here very close to me, hold my hand.  
  
I am not going to even try to understand his reasoning.  
  
Anyway I am watching Daniel and Cassie, she made him laugh a little bit, and by the look of it, he is actually talking to her.  
  
I sigh, this is a good sign.  
  
Well Cassie and Daniel are moving towards us, defiantly a good thing.  
  
"Hey" I ask as they sit down with us.  
  
"Sam, I am sorry about how I...." Daniel starts to apologize.  
  
Doesn't he know that he doesn't have too.  
  
"Daniel, stop, its ok."  
  
"No Sam..."  
  
"Yes Daniel, I understand."  
  
"We all do Daniel." Jack pipes in.  
  
We do, honestly we all do understand that losing Janet has affected us all. 


	12. Jack

Jack's POV  
  
Things are done here, officially anyway. The funeral and ceremonies are complete, and we are getting our replacement for CMO within the next day.  
  
Not that anyone is going to replace Janet. No one can.  
  
So in my opinion they are just going to be here.  
  
And yes I am going to try and get along with them, Major somebody.  
  
That is under Sam's influence.  
  
She told me that I was to play nice.  
  
But I don't want to.  
  
See all the influence she has on me.  
  
Most is of it good.  
  
This, I am not to sure about though.  
  
Maybe I am getting to old for this shit.  
  
Breaking in new personnel is a pain in the ass.  
  
But I will be nice.  
  
Try anyway.  
  
Sam is doing better too, and so is Cassie.  
  
They have invaded my house.  
  
Not that I mind at all.  
  
Well all of Sam's books I could do without, I swear I wouldn't have the patience to sit and real ALL of them.  
  
The woman is a walking library.  
  
"Carter's Library' it should read outside of my house. Its all good though.  
  
They still sit alone at night and cry, I can hear both of them, and I do my best to comfort them. Its not so easy all the time.  
  
I was suprised when I saw Daniel the other day, he actually seemed somewhat normal. Whatever that might be for him.  
  
I have to sit down with Sam and Cassie tomorrow to have a conservation I am both looking forward to and one I am totally scared about having.  
  
We are going to be going over Janet's Will and Power of Attorney.  
  
I know some of what is in it, but not everything.  
  
I know this is just going to open all of these wounds that have just started to heal for both Sam and Cassie.  
  
But it could also open up a whole new world for all of us.  
  
So I am going into this with an open mind.  
  
Like it or not.  
  
Sam's POV  
  
Well things have quieted down a little here. Its 2 days after the funeral is over and well, I am still here and so is Cassie.  
  
We are staying at Jack's for some reason, I guess neither one of us really wants to go to an empty house.  
  
And maybe its that me might feel a bit safer here for some reason.  
  
I am not going to try and explain it.  
  
But we have been trying to sit down for dinners, and talk, and basically spend as much time together as possible. I don't want to be alone.  
  
It all comes down to that.  
  
Being alone.  
  
Its not an option.  
  
Cassie is doing somewhat better, I can tell sometimes, she comes out of her room, looking for her mom, and there are times, where I have picked up the phone to call her, but other then that I think we are all doing as okay as we can be,  
  
I know the day ahead is going to be hard, Jack, Cassie and I are going to be looking over Janet's will and power of attorney. General Hammond has already read through it in preparation for the funeral, and I have seen some of it, but I couldn't bear to read everything.  
  
It makes everything to final.  
  
It should be a mute point at this time, because the funeral was 2 days ago.  
  
Its not like I want her stuff, like some cheap memento or something, I want my friend back if I had a choice in the matter.  
  
Jack has been so supportive in this whole thing.  
  
I cant describe it. I knew he would be there for all of us, but now I think its more.  
  
I don't think he wants us to leave when it comes time.  
  
I am not sure I want to.  
  
So that leaves us, with where do we go from here?  
  
Cassie's POV  
  
I have been doing a little better over the past 2 days. Uncle Jack has been awesome.  
  
I can't explain it, but wow. He never pushes me into talking to him. But he lets me know he is always there for me.  
  
Sam has been better too. I can still hear her cry at night, but its okay...I do the same thing.  
  
We have been eating most meals together, which is good, because we all usually talk to each other as a group then.  
  
I guess over food people can talk about anything.  
  
I might even go over to my best friends house this weekend for a little bit.  
  
See I am making improvements.  
  
Although I am going to find it hard.  
  
I am going to miss Sam and Jack.  
  
I haven't seen much of Daniel, but Jack saw him yesterday, and said he looked better.  
  
I am glad, I know losing my mom to him was so hard.  
  
Tomorrow is D day so to speak.  
  
We are going over mom's will.  
  
I can tell Sam and Jack are walking on egg shells with me on this topic. Its like they don't want to do this.  
  
Its more like they are just as scared as I am about doing this...  
  
God, its all sinking in now.  
  
Mom is really gone. 


	13. What Now

Daniel's POV  
  
Okay today is the day, I am heading over to Jack's to read Janet's will.  
  
I don't want to do this.  
  
It makes it all so final.  
  
Cassie called last night and said the same thing.  
  
But it's so true.  
  
Over the past 3 days, I have gotten better, I still haven't made it to the base yet.  
  
I am dreading the next mission we go on.  
  
I don't want to face the post mission exams.  
  
How can I let the new person examine me?  
  
I don't want to.  
  
But I don't think I am going to be given much choice in the matter at all.  
  
I have made it outside my apartment though.  
  
Score one for me!  
  
Teal'c has been so great through all of this too.  
  
I don't know how he does it.  
  
I wish I had this strength.  
  
We are all meeting at Jack's this afternoon. He and Sam thought it would be a good idea to sit with Cassie first and discuss things before we all invaded.  
  
I'd have to say that is a good idea.  
  
Jack said they were all doing better together when I saw him the other day.  
  
He commented on how Sam didn't cry too much anymore, and how Cassie seemed to open up to him a little more.  
  
It seemed as they were becoming more and more like a family.  
  
I am not sure if any of them are going to be able to go back to their own places when this is all over and done with.  
  
In a way I hope they don't, I haven't seen Sam or Cassie yet, but Jack seemed content, happy.  
  
Sam's POV  
  
Okay, today is the day.  
  
I made coffee and a light breakfast.  
  
Now I am sitting here at the dining room table waiting for Cassie and Jack to join me.  
  
I know its still early, but I couldn't sleep.  
  
I guess I got myself all worked up.  
  
I don't want to do this, but I know it has to be done.  
  
We have to figure this all out. Cassie is almost of age...she's 16. But she can't live alone.  
  
I know she has plans for college, which is great.  
  
The will is sitting there on the other side of the table taunting me.  
  
I want to know. I have to know.  
  
Time to go and make sure Jack is getting up.  
  
I make my way upstairs, and I can hear the water running in the bathroom.  
  
Someone is up.  
  
As I walk slowly I gently open Jack's door, I can see him sitting on the edge of the bed.  
  
"Morning." I say to him.  
  
As he looks up at me, I can see that he is nervous.  
  
"How long have you been up?" He asks me.  
  
"A while, I couldn't sleep." He laughs, "I know the feeling."  
  
As I walk over to him, he holds his hand up for me, I reach for him and he pulls me down for a hug.  
  
"What's wrong?" I ask him.  
  
He's being so quiet it's making me nervous.  
  
"What's going to happen after all of this is said and done?"  
  
"I don't know Jack, we will work through this together like we always do."  
  
He is quiet for a moment and laces his fingers through mine.  
  
I know what he is thinking.  
  
And I am not sure I want to go back either.  
  
So I give his hand a squeeze and look into his eyes, "Come on, let's get Cassie and get through this together."  
  
Cassie's POV  
  
I make it downstairs after I hear Sam and Jack go.  
  
They are sitting at the table waiting for me.  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"Its ok Cassie." Sam says to me.  
  
"Are you ready?" Jack asks me.  
  
Well as ready as I am ever going to be I guess.  
  
Did I mention today that I hate this?  
  
"Okay," Sam starts off, "It says here I am trustee of her estate, and Jack is co-trustee. Cassie as a beneficiary, you are entitled to all of her estate when you are 21."  
  
I watch as she reads on, the house and everything go to me. WOW... her life insurance and everything are given to me. I am waiting for what is next.  
  
In a way I don't want to leave here. I can't go live back home. Maybe later down the line, but defiantly not now.  
  
I wouldn't mind going to Sam's but I know that right now, she needs Jack just as much as I need him.  
  
I see Sam skim down as well, Jack is reading over her shoulder, when she stops, she quickly looks over at Jack.  
  
"Cassie, how would you like to stay with me?"  
  
I light up, like my mom would choose anyone else?  
  
She had planned for everything for me, right down to a special college fund and everything.  
  
It seems I am set for a long time.  
  
And I don't mind that I am in Sam's custody.  
  
It's where I want to be.  
  
Although I think it's going to change some thing for her though.  
  
"Like mom would appoint anyone else Sam."  
  
"Well I was worried."  
  
"You shouldn't be."  
  
I can see her smile, and Jack's as well.  
  
"So where does that leave us?"  
  
"Well your mom's house is left to you Cassie. What you want to do with it is up to you."  
  
"I know Jack, I just can't do anything with it right now."  
  
"I understand, we can discuss it at a later time Cassie. But I think it would be wise to keep it."  
  
"I know. I just can't think about it right now, let alone step foot in there."  
  
"We will take care of it Cassie." Sam says. "But isn't there something else we have to think about?" I ask.  
  
Jack looks up. I can see that he is holding Sam's hand under the table.  
  
"Like what Cassie?"  
  
"Like where are we going to live Sam?"  
  
She looks over at Jack and then back to me.  
  
I know this is something neither one of them expected.  
  
"Where do you want..."  
  
"I don't care Jack, as long as I have you guys."  
  
Sam's POV  
  
Okay that wasn't what I expected.  
  
'Where ever you guys are...'  
  
Well I can see where this is going to end up.  
  
A lot of things are going to change and real quick.  
  
I can't leave Cassie here alone when we go on missions for weeks at a time.  
  
I can't stay at the base late at night working...  
  
God my whole life is going to change.  
  
I knew it would happen, but the reality in at all is shocking.  
  
We eat breakfast together and Cassie gets up. She said something about going over to her best friends house. I don't mind really, she needs to get out of the house.  
  
And then that leave Jack and I, here alone.  
  
Is that a good thing?  
  
Maybe.  
  
This afternoon everyone will be here, including General Hammond.  
  
So maybe we can get some things settled.  
  
If we don't I am going to go crazy thinking and thinking....  
  
A quick glance at Jack, and he's smiling.  
  
"Don't think to much Sam, we will work everything out."  
  
"I know...thanks for everything Jack."  
  
Okay its time to get ready for this afternoon.  
  
Jack's POV  
  
Well this was nothing that I expected.  
  
I knew Janet would provide for Cassie no matter what and it seems like she has.  
  
Thank god!  
  
But like Cassie said, where does this leave us now? 


	14. Suspense

Sam's POV  
  
There are many things I have wanted out of life over the years.  
  
Having a family is one of them, a good man that loves me is another...there are more, but those are the ones that have been a constant throughout everything.  
  
In a span of a few days, I have lost my best friend, and gained a family. Such as it may be anyway.  
  
Cassie is a bit nervous, I can see it in her eyes.  
  
I am scared too.  
  
I don't know if I can follow in Janet's footsteps. She was the best mom.  
  
Great I can feel the tears welling up again.  
  
I have been good lately.  
  
So I guess this is not one of my better days.  
  
But you know what, I think I am doing pretty good considering what I have gone through.  
  
The adjustments I have to still go through.  
  
This is going to change my whole career path.  
  
I am not sure what the status of SG-1 is going to be anymore.  
  
I will not put Cassie through losing another 'mom'. I can't do that to her.  
  
So now here I am, sitting here with a daughter...and I don't know what to do next.  
  
I know I have to talk with Jack about this and the General, I am hoping that they can come up with something.  
  
I am amazed at what can happen to one person, well two people or maybe three at this point I really don't know anymore. I mean, Cassie, me and I guess Jack.  
  
Only because I know there is no way I will want to go back to sleeping alone, and hiding everything...AGAIN.  
  
Daniel and Teal'c are just leaving now. Daniel was happy about how things turned out, and well Teal'c, he isn't familiar with this.  
  
Daniel looked like he just wanted to go home. Which is fine, not that I don't want him here, but I can't think when there is a house full of people.  
  
I hear Jack ask him and Teal'c to come by tomorrow night for a BBQ.  
  
That's good, I need my friends here, but just not right at this exact moment.  
  
I hope that didn't sound hostile.  
  
The General and Jack at sitting around the kitchen table talking quietly. I got up a while ago to go and call Cassie to see how she was, then made my way outside to sit in the sun and try to relax.  
  
Like I can relax.  
  
I don't mind change, but fast change.... Something like this... well its hard to get used to.  
  
I wonder what they are talking about in there?  
  
I want to go in, but it is so nice out here. I wonder if they will come out and find me eventually.  
  
Men...they will come find me when I am needed I guess.  
  
Cassie is doing ok, I spoke with her earlier.  
  
She says she wants to spend the night, but will call if she wants me to come and get her.  
  
Oh speak of the devil, here they come. Good now I don't have to move.  
  
"Sam..." Jack says as he sits down next to me.  
  
I look up and see the General sit at the picnic table, "Sir."  
  
"Major...how are you doing?"  
  
"Its been a long few days Sir."  
  
"I agree Major." He looks over at Jack and then back at me.  
  
"The Colonel and I have been talking about what's going to happen next."  
  
"I see, I know there are going to be some changes." "Good changes Major."  
  
Jack takes my hand, I can't believe it right in front of the General.  
  
Well don't keep me in suspence. 


	15. Talking

Jack's POV  
  
I am watching Sam this afternoon through out this will reading for the second time today. I know this has to be hard on her.  
  
She has worked so hard to get where she is, to make it this far in the military as a female. And to top it all off, she loves her job!  
  
And now, things are going to change so much for her, and she might lose the job she loves so much.  
  
I can't let that happen.  
  
There has to be a way to stop that from happening. I am waiting patiently for Daniel and everyone to leave so I can talk with George and find out what out options are.  
  
I have known for a long time that Sam has wanted a family, and now that she has one, I am not sure how she is going to deal with everything that was just dumped in her lap.  
  
I mean when you plan for a family, you plan it out, your careers and everything. This was just like 'Here take it' with no respect to anything.  
  
I saw her get up and grab the phone and retreat out the patio doors.  
  
I don't mind really, we already went over this, this morning with Cassie.  
  
She doesn't have to be here for it again.  
  
As soon as Daniel and Teal'c leave I start to talk with the General, but he cuts me off first.  
  
"Jack... things are going to have to change from this moment on."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Sam won't be able to go out on so many missions and stay on base working endless nights like she is used to."  
  
"I know."  
  
"I have a few ideas Jack."  
  
I raise an eyebrow, guess Teal'c is wearing off on me.  
  
"This is going to be the end of the team isn't it Sir?" "Well it's going to change. Just as you have over the past week Jack."  
  
Well I can't say that I haven't changed.  
  
Because I have.  
  
"I can see it, the way you two are together here. It's nice to see."  
  
"I have gotten used to her hanging around too."  
  
"And I take it that you don't want things to go back to they where before."  
  
"No Sir."  
  
"Then this is what I have to offer, son."  
  
We talked for a bit, and I have to say that I honestly like some of his ideas. I just hope Sam will.  
  
I make my way outside with the General on my heals.  
  
I spot her and go to sit down next to her on the bench.  
  
George sits down at the picnic table and looks over at us before he begins.  
  
"So this is what I have to offer."  
  
We both listen like it's the last thing we are ever going to hear.  
  
I can see the emotions run over Sam's face with each one.  
  
Thank god he gave us till next week to decide what we were going to do.  
  
At least it gives us the weekend to talk about this.  
  
And I want to do this as a couple. Together.  
  
Wow, you would think we were married or something.  
  
But it's true. I don't want to have to decide anything anymore for just me. I want it to be us.  
  
And from the look on her face so does she.  
  
I reach for her hand, letting her know that we will discuss this tonight.  
  
The General takes that as his queue and stands up, "Well Jack, Sam, this has been a long day, and I am sure you two have things to talk about."  
  
"Yes Sir."  
  
I walk him out, and then lean against the front door.  
  
Well we have a lot to talk about now don't we? 


	16. A B and C

Later that night, after everyone is gone (thank god) and Cassie has gone to sleep, Jack has decided he wants to talk to me.  
  
Not that I don't want him to, because I do.  
  
But I am just emotionally tired.  
  
My brain has said 'enough'. And trust me on that fact, that, that has never happened before.  
  
So here I sit on the deck, the sun has long set, and I am just enjoying the night.  
  
He comes behind me and gently rests his hand on my shoulder.  
  
As I look up, he moved around to sit next to me and pull me closer.  
  
He looks at me like I am going to pull away.  
  
But I am not, I can't.  
  
So I lean into him and wrap my hand around his.  
  
"Sam..."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"About what's going to happen..."  
  
"Jack, all I know is that what we talked about earlier with the General, I like option 3 the best."  
  
He looks at me funny for a moment, like he has no clue of what I am talking about.  
  
"You know where the General would not lighten out load, but..."  
  
"OH that one."  
  
"Yeah, where he gives Cassie her own quarters with a way back and forth to school when we will be gone for longer then usual."  
  
We are silent for a little bit, just watching the stars.  
  
"I can't break up the team Jack, we are still so important."  
  
"I know, and I think this will work out."  
  
"If it doesn't then we will just think of something else."  
  
Daniel's POV  
  
Well that was one of the toughest days I have had in a while.  
  
I knew it was going to be, and I am glad Jack offered his house as well.  
  
It was like having your family there with you.  
  
I knew what was going to happen basically anyway. Janet had mentioned in passing something, nothing wasn't a total shock.  
  
I still miss her deeply.  
  
I will go to the cemetery later.  
  
I have been going every day now, since the funeral.  
  
I don't know, it helps.  
  
Helps, how I am not sure. But I just sit there talking to her about everything we didn't talk about before.  
  
Sad huh?  
  
I am glad Cassie is going to be staying with Sam... and Sam is staying with Jack.  
  
If anything this put into light a lot of things. Like don't wait to long, life is to short, especially ours.  
  
I am happy for them. A little jealous, but still happy.  
  
And both Sam and Jack both deserve it.  
  
It might change things a little with the team structure though, I know the General wanted to talk to them, he said he had a few things planned out.  
  
I can't lose either one of them, so it better be something good.  
  
Janet if you are watching please look out for those three, you never know what kind of trouble they all can get into together. 


	17. Stuff of Life

Jack's POV  
  
Well today is the day; we are moving Cassie's and Sam's things into my place. It's been about a month now, since everything has happened.  
  
Cassie hasn't been able to go back to her house since.  
  
Its ok though, I remember the feeling all to well.  
  
So Sam and I went over one Saturday while she was at her friends house, and went through her things and packed for her.  
  
Daniel and Teal'c came by afterwards and did a little packing of Janet's things as well.  
  
We put a lot of things into storage and locked up the house.  
  
We all thought that it was a good idea we save the house for Cassie, just in case.  
  
That night was so hard for Sam, she cried in my arms all night long.  
  
She told me she half expected Janet to come out from the kitchen and greet her like nothing was wrong.  
  
I hated going there as well and packing. And here I thought the reading of her will would be hard.  
  
NOT!  
  
Cassie came home the next day and went straight to her room. We didn't see her for the rest of the day or night.  
  
We knocked on her door a few times and asked if she wanted dinner... but we were turned down immediately.  
  
But the next morning, she was up before us and had coffee going.  
  
It was like nothing had happened.  
  
She smiled when Sam asked if she wanted help unpacking the rest of her stuff, and she told us it was all finished.  
  
Wow, for someone who hesitates doing everything, she sure wanted to finish this.  
  
Doesn't matter I guess, I am just glad she is getting better.  
  
I think they both have their good days and bad ones. Sam, told me the other day they she walked into the infirmary looking for Janet, only to realize that when she got to the door, she wasn't there anymore.  
  
The new Doc, is okay.  
  
Not the same though, her fantasy for the big needles is still the same though.  
  
I wonder if they teach that class to all med students.  
  
But like Sam, I still catch myself going in there after missions and waiting to see her face.  
  
Daniel, is getting better too. But slowly.  
  
I am worried about him. He puts on a brave face when he's around us, but there is something else going on.  
  
He has turned down a few team outings on our down time, now, and he wants to be alone a lot more now.  
  
Sam says he is just grieving in his own way, and that when he is ready, he will let us know.  
  
Okay Sam, I hope you know what you are talking about.  
  
Cassie is doing alright to, she is getting settled in with her new room, and with us.  
  
I am finding it real easy to have both Sam and her there. It's like it was meant to be or something.  
  
Although from what Janet used to say Cassie is sometimes not an easy person to live with at all. I know our time will come to find that part out. For now I will just enjoy this.  
  
We are going to speak to her tonight about our new plan, so that Cassie doesn't have to stay here alone.  
  
Neither Sam or I thought it was a good idea for us to give up the team or the SGC, its just that now, neither one of us can give up what we have at home either.  
  
So we have to find a happy medium.  
  
Sam decided that unless its absolutely necessary she won't stay on base at night anymore either because she is to tired or because she is working in her lab, on something that can normally wait till another time. That's my opinion by the way.  
  
And for me, well that's easy, I know when to come home, and now I have the pleasure of making sure I drag a certain Major with me. As for missions, things are quiet now, Anubis is gone, and thank god they are quiet.  
  
I need a bit of a break.  
  
I love my job, don't get me wrong.  
  
So what the General proposed is that as the flag ship team of the SGC, we will still be going out on all the important missions and exploring, seeing more trees is more like it, but we will also be delegating some of that to different teams as well.  
  
When we do leave, Cassie will be staying here on base. The General had few rooms made up for her, and we had some furniture brought in and such so it wouldn't be so...SGC for her.  
  
School is all set up too, so that she won't be missing any, much to her dismay. Some lucky Airman gets to drive her and pick her up.  
  
I really think we have all the bases covered.  
  
At least I hope we do.  
  
I know there are things we don't plan on, and issues that will arise, but in all honesty, I think we can make it through together.  
  
End? Do you want more? Because I am not really sure where to go now? 


	18. New Life

Sam's POV  
  
Well a month has gone by and at first I wasn't sure what was going to happen, if this 'plan' that General Hammond and Jack came up with was even going to work.  
  
I was surprised though at how easily everything just slid into place.  
  
Cassie and I moved into Jack's, we decided to keep Janet's house for Cassie though. It was put into motion that SG-1 would be a 3 man team until completely necessary. Even then General Hammond told us that in order to give more teams more training, we would not be going on so many missions, like I said unless we are needed.  
  
Jack has taken up training with some of the other teams and new recruits here. It's been nice actually to go home at night.   
  
Not that I don't like staying on base.  
  
Cassie is adjusting well, although there are times when I know just to leave her alone. I know because I have those days as well.   
  
So back to readjusting to the SGC.  
  
See as time goes on, and I get more relaxed and comfortable in this 'new life' my mind takes many paths, as Teal'c said to me the other day.  
  
General Hammond put me in control of all the labs, and left me on SG-1. I hate to see the guys go off world without me, but I do know if it were anything dangerous or serious enough, Hammond would have assigned me to the mission as well.   
  
I am getting accustomed to going into the office at 0800 and leaving at 1700 everyday.  
  
Dad came through the other day as well. He was shocked at my transformation so to speak.  
  
But he said he was happy as long as I was happy.  
  
I even told him about Jack and I, he didn't bat and eye.  
  
I wonder if he always knew?  
  
Anyway he got called back and as usual had to leave a lot earlier then he wanted to.  
  
Jack has been a totally different person. Well not totally different, but it's the little things you notice, right?  
  
He still comes and gets me for lunch and to go home at night.   
  
I bet he is relieved that he doesn't have to bribe me to leave or pull rank anymore.  
  
He just seems more attentive to me now, more in tune maybe.  
  
Like we could be MORE in tune with each other... but I guess we can.  
  
Cassie, she is just wonderful. I thought it would be harder for her to get used to living with yet another 'mother', I thought I'd get a lot of 'your not my mother' from her, but I haven't gotten that once.  
  
I think she is still getting used to the fact that Janet is gone. We have had some talks late at night about losing a mother.  
  
Cassie told me that she never wanted me to go through the gate again, she said the same thing about Jack and Daniel and Teal'c. She said that it brings nothing but death into her life. I can understand why she would think that, but we had to make a compromise, because I can't NOT go through the gate.  
  
So when I told her of what my new 'job' was at the SGC she was thrilled.  
  
Daniel is doing better, although I am a little worried about him. He has skipped out on more then a few team get together's now. Jack has noticed too. Teal'c said he would keep an eye on him as well.  
  
We are family right, this is what family does. 


	19. Help

Daniel's POV  
  
I know my friends are worried about me.  
  
But I just haven't been in a social mood these days.  
  
I have lost not only the first person I really loved, but the second as well. And to top it off, I never had the chance to really love her.  
  
She never even knew!  
  
What kind of person does that make me?   
  
I mean am I this take charge kind of guy, going after what he wants in life?   
  
Or do I get so wrapped up in my work, I lose all since of what is going on around me, including what's happening with me?  
  
I don't think that I will ever find someone else. I don't know if I want to.   
  
I have hurt more then enough people on this planet and across the galaxy.  
  
I mean if I can be that self centered and forget about how others feel, what kind of husband would I make, father to a child?  
  
Even my team mates, I am not sure how to act towards them any more.   
  
Do they trust me? Can they rely on me when we are out there?  
  
I know Teal'c has noticed me turning down team gatherings and Sam has said something to me as well.  
  
What I am curious is, is that some sort of guilt trip that they are feeling or is it a true need to be around me?  
  
I see how Sam and Jack are together now with Cassie, and its just not fair. Its not supposed to be that way, it was supposed to be Janet and me and Cassie…  
  
As you can tell, yes I am a little jealous…it is not fair.  
  
But life isn't fair, now is it?  
  
The General has been putting me to work with other teams these days, which is fine by me.  
  
I don't mind what happened to SG-1 and the changes that were made.   
  
It just means that I get to do a lot more.  
  
Think Jack and Sam deserve this little bit of happiness, and SG-1 is still here, we are just working under different circumstances.  
  
Like I said, is a good thing.  
  
Maybe I should have a get together at my place this weekend…   
  
I miss my team, my family.  
  
And that's who they are in the end. My family.  
  
God I miss Janet.  
  
I really need to think about how to change my way of life.  
  
I am not looking for someone else, but I need to not feel so all alone.  
  
I wanted to plan a life with her, to have her to come home to at night.  
  
I know I never said anything, and that was one of the worst mistakes I ever made.  
  
I will always remember her, and I have Cassie, well Cassie doesn't need much of anyone these days, except her friends, but that's typical 16yr old or so Sam says.   
  
I can see a lot of Janet in Cassie.   
  
God will I ever get out of this slump? 


	20. Cassie

Cassie's POV  
  
It's been a month now.   
  
I can't believe it, I have lost my second mother, and I don't know.  
  
Its only been a month  
  
Sam has been great! I mean she lost her mom, so she's been a regular wealth of knowledge for me.   
  
Sometimes she just sits and listens to me, and others…well knows just what I need, when I need it.  
  
There are days where all I want to do is sit in my room and cry.  
  
I had one of those days the other day.  
  
Sam was too, I could hear her in her room crying.   
  
It's so hard on all of us.   
  
Jack has been a rock for both Sam and I.  
  
I don't know what I would do without him.  
  
They have grown closer, and I am so happy for them. They deserve whatever happiness they can get.  
  
A few days after my mom's funeral, they sat down with me and General Hammond, and told me what was going to happen.  
  
I insisted that they didn't have to break up SG-1 and that I would be ok on my own for a few days.  
  
In truth, I really wanted them both here all the time.  
  
So when the General told me of the new plan for them and the team, I was happy.  
  
I could have my make shift family, and they wouldn't be in as much danger.  
  
I can't lose another family. I can't lose Sam and jack or Daniel(who I am really worried about) and Teal'c.  
  
I can see that lately, Sam has wanted to spend more time with me, and all I have wanted to do is spend time with my friends.  
  
I feel bad, but all I am really doing is trying to get some sort of regularity back into my life.  
  
And well I am 16, not that Sam isn't great, but a girl needs her teenage friends.  
  
Maybe we should all have a BBQ at the house this weekend?  
  
Humm, that's an idea I will have to talk with Jack about tonight. Sam has to work late, which is okay. She is home everyday now around 6pm, and doesn't go into until almost 9am. I remember mom always complaining that Sam never left work, she couldn't get her to leave the base, and that sort of thing.   
  
Now, she is the first one out the door so to speak. So I don't mind a night here or there where she has to work late.  
  
Jack said it would be a good night for just the two of us…humm wonder what THAT means…  
  
I am going to go and wander off to cal Teal'c and get my homework done, I have a feeling tonight is going to be a bit of a…umm.. I dunno…surprise if you may.   
  
With Jack O'Neill, who knows what's going to happen. 


	21. Jack and Cassie

Jack's POV  
  
Well Sam has to work tonight…so it's just me and Cassie for dinner.  
  
This should be interesting to say the least.  
  
I know I said I wanted to talk with her, and I do…  
  
I want to make sure she is doing okay, Sam and I haven't seen her for the past couple nights.  
  
She is being the typical 16yr old, and all things considered she is going very well in school... Sam and I talked about it and didn't think a night or two at a friends' house would do her any harm.  
  
So tonight I wanted to be just the two of us. I am going to order out a pizza and stop for chips on the way home.   
  
Sam has us eating rabbit food more than half the time, and since she's not going to be home…you can see where I am going with this.  
  
I can hear Cassie come through the door, I am really happy that she has moved in and as for Sam, that's a given. I have always wanted her here.  
  
Pizza is on its way, and the table is set.   
  
Here we go.  
  
"Jack"  
  
"Hey kiddo, how was school?"  
  
We ate in silence after that, I think we were both really hungry. I am not good at this thing at all, I think I drove myself into a nervous wreck this afternoon.   
  
I hate talking about feelings and emotions.. and all that…  
  
"So, Jack, what did you want to talk to me about?" Cassie asks me.  
  
"I just...um…wanted to know how you were doing, you haven't been here for a few days."  
  
She laughs.  
  
Nice Cassie, thanks.  
  
"Jack, I am getting better, you know that."  
  
Yup I guess I did.  
  
"Have you spoken with Daniel lately?"  
  
"I am worried about him. Maybe we should have a BBQ here this weekend, invite everyone."  
  
"That sounds like a good idea, remind me to talk to Sam later."  
  
"I asked Teal'c already, he said yes."  
  
"Is there something going on that I don't know about Cassie?"  
  
"No, just needed to have my extended family here this weekend."  
  
"Well in that case how could I say no?"   
  
That won me a smile.  
  
"Is there anything I can do for you Cassie?"  
  
"Jack, you are doing everything that I could ever need right now."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Listen, none of this is your fault. Like you told me before, mom was just doing her job."  
  
"But…"  
  
"No, buts, it is one of the things I love about mom, and that I will always carry around with me forever."  
  
"I know…"  
  
"I wish she was still here too, and I miss her so much…"  
  
We sit in silence for a while longer.   
  
"Jack, was there something else you wanted to talk about?"  
  
"Yeah, Cassie…there is." 


	22. Sam

Sam's POV  
  
This is the firs time I had to work late in almost 2 months.   
  
And I want to go home.  
  
Its funny how the meaning of 'home' can change at the drop of a hat.   
  
I love where I am right now, Cassie living with us, and us at Jack's house.   
  
I never imagined it would turn out like this. I mean I hoped it did, dreamt it did.  
  
But losing Janet...I didn't want it to happen that way at all.  
  
I miss my best friend.   
  
Sitting here late at night, the base is basically dark, Janet would be here, telling me to go home, get some sleep, eat.   
  
But here, now, I am all alone.  
  
No one is going to come and visit me to make sure I do all of those things.  
  
God do I miss her.  
  
There are nights where I just sit in my room and cry.  
  
I had one the other night.   
  
Cassie did to... our own little pitty party.  
  
Jack has been wonderful. I love that man.  
  
Probably even more then I did 3 months ago.  
  
God how things can change.  
  
I am so not getting anything done right now.   
  
Maybe I should go home?  
  
Jack said he wanted to have a night with just Cassie, that he wanted to talk with her.  
  
Which got me thinking, what does he want to talk with Cassie about?  
  
I mean we talk with her every day, make sure she is okay.  
  
She says she is. I mean I know how hard it is lose a mother, and a best friend.   
  
And that's what they were.   
  
I can only hope to have that kind of relationship with her or any other of my children.  
  
My children, that brings up another whole topic.  
  
I want to have children, with Jack.  
  
But I am not sure if that's in his plans or what.   
  
And so soon after losing one of our friends... and gaining a teenager...well you know what I am talking about.  
  
I really think I need to get home, and I am not getting anything done just sitting here.  
  
I wish my brain would just stop for 5 minutes sometimes. 


	23. Daniel

Daniel's POV  
  
Well I knew this idea would be good.  
  
I am just pulling into Jack's drive way now for the BBQ.  
  
I am not too sure how I will feel after about an hour our so, but right now this is just what I needed!  
  
Cassie called me and asked me to come over, said that she was inviting the General and a few others to come as well.  
  
She needed to be with her extended family, is what she said.  
  
Well who could say no to that?  
  
I couldn't and from the looks of the cars that are lined up the street, no one else could either.   
  
I haven't been very social the last few months, but maybe I am starting to come out of it. I actually couldn't wait to come over today.  
  
So that's a step, and I will make sure to tell Sam that too, Cassie mentioned that she was worried about me.  
  
I just have to grieve in my own way I guess.   
  
Either that or I just don't want to hurt any more people that I love.  
  
I do love these guys, they are my family, and I don't want anything to happen to them.  
  
I park next to General Hammond's car and notice he is still in it talking on his cell.   
  
I hope everything is okay.  
  
As I get out he greets me "Doctor Jackson, its good to see you here."  
  
Yes it's good to be out!  
  
"Thank you General. Its good to be here, I have missed everyone."  
  
"We all have been worried Doctor Jackson."  
  
Don't I know that, I think Teal'c was all set to move into my apartment.  
  
As I walk to the back yard I get greeted by everyone, I can't believe how much I missed this.  
  
Cassie is with one of her friends in the corner of the patio quietly talking amongst themselves, Sam was nowhere to be seen and Jack was playing, is the right word with the grill.  
  
I must go find Sam.  
  
I found her in the kitchen getting some more soda and drinks.   
  
"Hey Sam."  
  
"Daniel! Its so good to see you." I get a hung from her, amazed that she could actually miss me THAT much.  
  
"Its good to see you to Sam." I pause and help her with the tray, " So how are things here?"  
  
"Things are good Daniel."  
  
"And Jack?"  
  
"He's good, its hard to imagine that I would be this way with him...its just hard for me to imagine that's all."  
  
I knew at some point this would happen, just not when.  
  
"Sam, you had to have some idea, I have seen you guys act like teenagers for the better part of eight years now."  
  
"Yeah well not all of us are as inclined to see such things as you are Daniel."  
  
As we walked outside Jack came up and took the tray from Sam.  
  
"Daniel, its good to see you ol' buddy!"   
  
"Jack."  
  
"Hey is that the way to greet a friend? I mean you are at my house and everything."  
  
"Sorry Jack, its just odd to see you so happy."  
  
He looks at Sam and then back to me.  
  
"Well Daniel I have a lot to be happy about."  
  
Low blow, but I don't think he noticed what he was saying, Sam looks like she is going to kill him.  
  
Then it clicks, and I can tell he is instantly sorry.  
  
"I mean look, I have my whole family here to have a BBQ with me. And no you don't have to go fishing either."  
  
Phew... 


	24. General Hammond

General Hammond's POV  
  
Well it is certainly good to see Dr. Jackson here today. I must say I was worried that he had done something, or just started to back away from everyone completely.  
  
I wasn't sure if he would actually make it here today. I know the loss of Dr. Fraiser hit him harder then even Major Carter. I knew that there was something, I may be old, but not blind.   
  
I have spoken to Teal'c and Colonel O'Neill about what they might think is going on, and both were real sketchy about the details. All I had gotten out of both of them, is that he was really upset and he didn't want to talk about it.   
  
That was clue number 1.   
  
I mean who really knew?  
  
After we lost Dr. Fraiser, Jack hit me with everything that was going on in his mind, about Major Carter and Cassie.   
  
I was thrown for a loop completely.   
  
Not that I didn't know about that either, I knew that there was something going on... I know both would never go against the regulations, but it was still there. After all these years, what ever it was, is still there.   
  
Now that's some sort of record.  
  
But such as it is, I have made some concessions in their case, and moved things around for them.  
  
They deserve it too, how many times have they saved the world?  
  
Anyway, I am just happy things are working out for all around, and that I hope Dr. Jackson gets what is coming to him, and may that be all the happiness in the world.  
  
Tealc's POV  
  
Today is a fine day.   
  
I am here at O'Neill's residence with all my family and friends.   
  
I have been very worried about DanielJackson of late. He has turned down many of my requests for him to join me 'after work'.   
  
He has been avoiding many people.   
  
In my opinion, I see that he is green with envy as you would put it, over O'Neill and Major Carter.   
  
He has told me that he has feelings for DoctorFraiser.  
  
I knew he did not say anything to DoctorFraiser.  
  
He should have said something.  
  
Life is to short.  
  
And not DoctorFraiser is no longer with us.  
  
I feel for DoctorJackson, I know what it's like to lose the one you love.  
  
There is a feeling of abandonment and emptiness, which does not go away.  
  
I wish I could help my friend more, but O'Neill tells me I am doing all that I can right now.   
  
The rest is up to DanielJackson.  
  
I wish a speedy recovery.  
  
Cassie's POV  
  
Wow! Everyone actually came.  
  
I was worried about Daniel, I haven't seen him in so long.  
  
I know he has been dodging a lot of Sam's attempts to get together, as well as Jacks.  
  
I over heard that even the General was getting worried too.  
  
Its good to see him, I can tell he has lost weight though. I hope he doesn't keep losing it, Sam always tells me its not healthy to be that thin.  
  
I know she's right.   
  
Its just so hard when you see other girl's at school...well you know where I am going with that...don't you?  
  
Anyway back to Daniel, I am glad he is here, and smiling.  
  
Teal'c is always Teal'c but I can tell he's glad to be here.   
  
God I haven't seen these people in so long.  
  
I know I have been keeping to myself lately, but I lost my mom. Aren't I supposed to do that?  
  
My friends have been great! They have all but taken me in, well sort of. I mean Sam and Jack have been wonderful to me.  
  
Dinner is almost done... Jack does a wonderful BBQ! 


End file.
